April Is Here: The Month That Has to Count

trueproducer
4 days ago
5 min read

Now we’re officially in the fourth month of the year, and if I’m being honest with myself, I really should have been more prepared for this month than I am right now.

I was prepared a little bit.

But not enough.

That’s the truth.

Everything feels like it’s moving at such a fast pace that I barely have time to catch up with my own thoughts. The days are speeding by, the responsibilities are piling up, and I can feel it physically. I’m not sleeping well. My body is tired in a way that goes beyond just being sleepy—it’s the kind of exhaustion that starts affecting your focus, your mood, and your ability to stay present.

There are moments in the lab where I’m almost about to fall asleep because I’m so extremely tired.

And that scares me.

Because I know if I don’t keep up the pace—or more importantly, if I don’t create a sustainable pace—I’m going to burn out somewhere along the way.

That’s why this month has to be intentional.

This month cannot be random.

This month needs structure.

There are a few things that are not optional anymore. They are must-dos. They are the things that need to take priority if I’m serious about where I want this year to go.

1. The Album Has to Come Out This Month

The first and most important thing for this month is releasing the album.

No more pushing it back.

No more waiting for the “perfect” time.

No more letting dates pass and then telling myself I’ll do it later.

This has to happen.

If I do not release this album by the end of this month, then I would have missed out on a really great opportunity to release it before summer starts.

And that matters to me.

I already missed March 27th, which I really thought was going to be the perfect release date. I liked the symbolism of the 27 showing up in the release date. It felt meaningful. It felt aligned.

But it didn’t happen.

And instead of sitting in disappointment, I need to pivot.

So now I’m looking at April 24th.

That date feels right.

It gives me time. It gives me urgency. It gives me a target.

Which means these upcoming weekends are no longer casual weekends.

These are album weekends.

Wake up. Open the DAW. Work on the songs. Stay there until progress is made.

That’s the plan.

No distractions.

No wandering.

No overthinking.

Just work.

Even this upcoming Friday, I need to carve out time to work on it.

Whenever I have time and availability, I need to use it for this.

Because this is important to me.

This is not just music.

This is momentum.

This is me following through on something I’ve said I wanted to do.

2. My Health Has to Become a Priority

The second major thing for this month is working out every day.

Summer is coming fast.

And I really want to feel healthy, strong, and confident by the time it gets here.

This isn’t even just about looks.

It’s about how I feel in my own body.

I want to feel lighter. Stronger. More disciplined. More in control.

I’ve been very honest with myself about wanting to transform physically.

I want to lean out.

I want muscle definition.

I want abs.

And I know that doesn’t happen by wishing for it.

That happens through consistency.

That means I need to convert this extra weight into strength and muscle.

That means prioritizing resistance workouts and staying lean.

I’ve been using the Strong app, and honestly it’s been helping a lot.

It gives structure.

It helps me track reps, sets, rest times, and progress.

That structure is exactly what I need.

Because consistency comes easier when the process is already laid out.

So tonight: workout.

Tomorrow morning: workout.

The next day: workout.

No excuses.

And honestly, I’m hoping this also helps with sleep.

Because part of the reason I’m so restless right now is that I’m mentally overloaded and physically under-recovered.

Exercise can help regulate that.

3. FE Exam Prep Has to Restart Immediately

The third thing that absolutely must happen this month is getting back into studying for the FE exam.

I’ve been drifting from it.

I know that.

And I can’t afford to keep doing that.

The date is already set.

May 16th.

At this point, I do not think I am changing it.

I’m sticking with it.

Because if I move it, I have to pay again.

And I really do not want to do that.

Financially, mentally, emotionally—I need to commit.

So now the question becomes not if I study, but when.

I think the best approach is assigning dedicated mornings.

Maybe:

Monday morning
Tuesday morning
Thursday morning

Three focused sessions a week.

That feels realistic.

It also helps me get back into the flow without overwhelming myself.

I need to rebuild endurance.

I need to rebuild confidence.

I need to get back into problem-solving mode.

This exam matters.

Not just because of the certification, but because it’s part of the bigger vision I have for myself.

4. Dissertation Progress Cannot Be Ignored

Another thing I absolutely have to prioritize this month is my research.

This one is non-negotiable.

My parents have been rightfully frustrated because it seems like I’ve been prioritizing everything except the most important long-term goal:

my dissertation and PhD progress.

That truth stings a little.

Because I know they’re not wrong.

I do have limited time.

I’ve already told myself what I want:

May 2028 or December 2028.

That’s it.

I do not want this to extend into 2029.

And I definitely do not want it spilling into 2030.

2030 feels like an entirely different era.

That’s a new decade.

And by then I want to already be building the next phase of my life.

So this month needs to include tangible research progress.

Reading. Writing. Designing. Modeling. Meeting with purpose.

No more passive busyness.

Actual forward movement.

5. Planning Further Ahead

One thing I’ve also realized is that planning only for tomorrow is not enough.

I need to plan for the day after tomorrow too.

That extra layer of preparation changes everything.

Because when you already know what’s coming, you don’t wake up scrambling.

Today, I actually planned for tomorrow and Friday.

And that alone made me feel more grounded.

Letting Go of the Need for Revenge

And then there’s the emotional part of this month.

I need to be honest.

Part of me still wants revenge on the person who didn’t respond to my email.

I know that feeling is still there.

That frustration.

That hurt.

That sense of being ignored.

But the deeper truth is this:

my real revenge is progress.

Not calling them. Not reaching out. Not reopening what’s already over.

The friendship is beyond over.

Calling them on their birthday next month would not bring closure.

It would only reopen a wound that needs to heal.

So instead, my focus has to stay here.

On April.

On the work.

On the album.

On the FE.

On the body.

On the dissertation.

This month has to count.

This month has to move me forward.

And I’m ready for that.