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Two days. That’s really where I’m at mentally right now. Two more days until the FE exam, and honestly, I’m nervous as hell. I’ve worked hard for this. I’ve sacrificed sleep for this. I’ve sacrificed peace for this. And now that the exam is almost here, reality is finally settling in. It’s no longer “someday.” It’s no longer “next month.” It’s here now. Right in front of me. And I think that’s what makes this feel so heavy. There’s a difference between preparing for something

After I finished my finals back in April, I finally started feeling like my brain could breathe again. It honestly felt like I had survived something. The pressure from classes, assignments, deadlines, projects, expectations, and constantly feeling like I had to prove myself all at once—it was exhausting. But once finals were over, I noticed something important: my mind became quieter. Not perfect. Not peaceful all the time. But quieter. More stable. I finally felt like I cou

Sometimes I really believe God is going to help me get everything done. I really do. But I also understand that faith without work means absolutely nothing. I can pray all day long, sit there and hope things magically fall into place, but if I don’t put in the work, none of this shit matters. None of it. And honestly? I hate that this is my life now. My body hurts. My brain hurts. My chest feels heavy all the time. I’m exhausted mentally, spiritually, physically. Fuck this sh

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how fast life moves when you’re not fully prepared for it. One moment you’re sitting there thinking you still have time, and the next moment you’re already deep into deadlines, exams, responsibilities, expectations, unfinished goals, and emotional exhaustion all at once. That’s honestly what this phase of my life feels like right now. I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up with myself while also trying not to fall apart mentally i

Here I am again—alone, thinking, trying to figure things out. Not really trying to build a support system right now, but more so trying to lock in on what actually matters. This summer isn’t just another stretch of time—it’s a checkpoint. Everything has to be put into perspective, because there are a few major things in front of me that will define where I go next. The most important thing, without question, is the comprehensive exam. This isn’t optional. This isn’t something

I’m genuinely excited about this month because for the first time in a while, things are actually moving forward. I got my album released on April 24th, and that didn’t happen by accident—it came from full days of locking in, recording vocals, refining details, and making sure everything sounded exactly how I envisioned it. That level of focus and aggression paid off. On top of that, I finished my finals, which was another major hurdle. It took discipline, long hours, and rea

There’s something very revealing about the way I approach a puzzle, because it’s not just about putting pieces together—it’s about how I think, how I organize chaos, and how I build structure out of something that initially looks random. When I start a puzzle, I don’t just jump in blindly. I begin with intention. I open the box from the top, almost like I’m preparing myself mentally for the task ahead. Then I set a stopwatch, aiming to complete it within a specific time frame

I truly believe I’m in a much better position right now than I was back in March. And honestly, just being able to say that feels like progress. March was heavy. It was not just busy in the normal sense—it was mentally crowded, emotionally exhausting, and physically draining. A lot of that month was spent trying to recover from everything that happened in February, and instead of giving myself space to stabilize, March quickly became another month full of pressure, unfinished

Dear Lord, First, I want to come to You with honesty and humility. I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done in the past that were not aligned with who I want to be and who You are calling me to become. Please forgive me for the moments where I lost focus, where I let stress take over, where I forgot what was most important. I know I have made mistakes, and I know there are times when I have moved too fast, thought too little, or let my mind become overwhelmed. But I am grateful

Now we’re officially in the fourth month of the year, and if I’m being honest with myself, I really should have been more prepared for this month than I am right now. I was prepared a little bit. But not enough. That’s the truth. Everything feels like it’s moving at such a fast pace that I barely have time to catch up with my own thoughts. The days are speeding by, the responsibilities are piling up, and I can feel it physically. I’m not sleeping well. My body is tired in a w

Tonight I’m sitting with one thought more than anything else: I need tomorrow to be different . My hope is that tomorrow is the day things finally begin to take form and take shape. Lately, it feels like I’ve been letting everything except the important things take control of my time, my attention, and my peace of mind. I keep moving, I keep doing things, I keep sending emails and making plans and thinking ahead, but when I stop and really look at it, I have to ask myself a h

Let me take a step back for a second and really process what happened, because I think that’s the only way I can move forward properly. Late February was the turning point. That’s where things started to shift in a way that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I made a decision to reach out to someone that, deep down, I probably shouldn’t have reached out to. Not because they’re a bad person, but because of what that connection represented for me mentally. It wasn’t stable.

I’ve been sitting with this for a while, and I’ll be honest—I really thought about punishing myself for what I did. Sending that email, trying to go back and fix things, apologizing, trying to make amends… even though deep down, I already knew what it was. I told that friend group how I truly felt. I told them they weren’t my friends. That wasn’t something I said out of nowhere—it came from built-up stress, from being drained, from feeling like I was giving more than I was re

The real question I’ve been asking myself lately is simple, but it hits deep: why have I gotten so soft? I’ve been thinking about a situation that really exposed something in me. There was this friend group I used to be around. We would go out to Indian restaurants, hang out, talk, just spend time together like normal. On the surface, everything looked fine. But underneath that, there was one person in that group who constantly asked for my help. Whether it was getting around

I’m going to be honest about something that people usually don’t want to admit out loud. Earlier I said that I didn’t hate anyone, but if I’m being truthful with myself, that isn’t entirely accurate. The situation with the person who cut me off through email has stirred up a lot of anger in me. And pretending that anger isn’t there would just be another form of dishonesty. What frustrates me the most is the lack of clear communication. This person has sent me messages on othe

This morning I found myself praying with a level of honesty that I don’t usually put into words. Sometimes when life becomes overwhelming, prayer becomes the only place where you can say everything exactly as you feel it, without editing yourself or pretending to be stronger than you are. Today I prayed about many things—my productivity, my future, my relationships, my goals—but most of all I prayed for clarity and peace. One thing that has been weighing on my mind is the per

This month is a crucial month for me. I can feel it. There are moments in life where you realize that the direction you're going in will determine a lot of what happens next, and I feel like I’m standing in one of those moments right now. I have a lot that I want to accomplish, especially with my music and the things I’ve been creating. But more than anything, this month is about discipline and learning how to move properly with the time and energy that I have. Recently I tal

This morning started a little differently than usual. I woke up later than I normally do, and by the time I got up, my dad had already left for work. Most mornings I’m the one who takes him, so it felt strange realizing he had already gone. For a moment I wondered if I should feel guilty about that, but honestly I was exhausted. The last couple of weeks have been overwhelming, and my body is clearly still trying to recover from all of it. Still, the day doesn’t stop just beca

After the past couple of weeks, I feel like I’ve been given something I didn’t expect—a new lease on life. Not in some dramatic, cinematic way, but in a quieter, more reflective way. The last two weeks were chaotic, exhausting, and honestly overwhelming. I went through midterms, back-to-back stress, and moments where I wasn’t functioning at my best. But now that I’m stepping back and looking at everything that happened, I feel like I’m being given another chance to make thing

I’m about to go into my therapy session today, and I feel awful. At the same time, a strange kind of relief has come over me. It’s like a weight has finally been lifted, but the path that led me to that relief was messy. I made mistakes along the way. I damaged connections with people. I mishandled situations. I tried to be everywhere all at once, except in the one place I actually needed to be. That’s the pattern I’m starting to notice about myself lately. I move fast. I jug