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Lately I've been thinking about what it feels like to live in survival mode. For me, survival mode isn't just about being busy. It's the feeling that there's always another hurdle to clear, another expectation to meet, another opportunity that has to be earned instead of assumed. As a Black man in America, I sometimes feel a heightened sense of pressure to prove myself. When I think about our history—slavery, segregation, discrimination, and the barriers that have existed for

I'm entering a different season of my life. Not long ago, I kept talking about doing less. I had to remove responsibilities that weren't helping me become the person I needed to be. I had to let go of commitments that were stretching me too thin. That season taught me one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned: sometimes you have to simplify your life before you can truly move forward. Now, things have changed. I can do more now. But I have to be intentional about what "mor

Lately, I've been thinking about something that sounds contradictory. Maybe in order to be real, people sometimes have to think you're fake. That thought came to me after I was reading reviews of an album called The Real Me. The title itself fascinated me because it suggests complete honesty. It suggests showing people exactly who you are without hiding anything. You would think everyone would appreciate that. But the reviews told a different story. A lot of people criticized

It's late. I should probably be asleep. Instead, I'm lying here thinking about everything that's happened over the past year and everything that's still ahead of me. Sometimes I think about the period after my master's degree when I wasn't in school anymore. I remember searching for jobs, sending applications, hoping someone would give me an opportunity. It was discouraging. Every rejection made me question whether I was doing enough or whether I had chosen the right path. Lo

I'm starting to understand something about this season of my life. For a while, God was teaching me to do less. At first, I didn't understand why. I thought doing less meant I wasn't working hard enough. I thought slowing down meant I was falling behind. I thought saying "no" meant I was letting people down. But now I finally understand. God wasn't telling me to do less because He wanted me to accomplish less. He was teaching me to do less so I could remove everything that wa

This morning was a rude awakening. I'm exhausted. I stayed up past midnight, and now I'm paying the price. I'm tired. Mentally tired. Physically tired. Emotionally tired. And honestly, it feels like nobody really understands how much pressure I'm carrying. This is the beginning of a new month. That means one thing. The clock is ticking. Before I know it, it'll be August. And when August gets here, everything changes. My comprehensive exam is waiting for me. This isn't just an

I'll just be honest. I'm sad. I lost someone that I considered a friend. And as much as part of me wants to send another email, explain myself, or somehow get his attention one last time, I'm not going to do it. I'm going to let it go. If he's done with me, then he's done with me. Relationships change. People move on. Sometimes people come into your life for a season, and sometimes they leave just as quickly. That hurts. Especially when you feel like you gave more than you re

A few nights ago, I couldn't sleep. It was 4:22 in the morning. I remember sitting there completely overwhelmed, staring into the darkness, wondering how I was going to keep carrying everything that was on my plate. I wasn't just tired. I was exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. I remember praying to God that something had to change. I remember writing about this new philosophy I had been developing for my life called No Filler. At the time, it felt like just an idea

It's 4:22 in the morning. I'm sitting here eating because I can't sleep. Not because I'm not tired. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired that my body feels like it's shutting down, but my mind refuses to stop running. I can't think clearly. I can't process anything. Every time I close my eyes, another responsibility enters my head. Another deadline. Another obligation. Another person depending on me. Another thing I forgot to do. I'm overwhelmed. And I'm finally admitting it. I've spe

Today is Juneteenth. It's a day that means a lot to me and to our culture. It's a day of freedom, resilience, survival, and remembering where we've come from. It's also one of those days where life doesn't stop just because it's a holiday. The dishes still need to be washed. The bed still needs to be made. The laundry still needs to be done. People still have to eat. Research still has to happen. Life keeps moving. I woke up this morning with a lot on my mind. First things fi

It's been a couple of days since I've really sat down and reflected on life. Tomorrow is Juneteenth. For me, Juneteenth is an important day. It's a day of remembrance, resilience, freedom, and understanding that progress often comes through sacrifice and perseverance. It's a reminder that history wasn't built overnight and that meaningful change takes time, patience, and determination. And honestly, I think that's exactly where I am in my own life. A few months ago, I made Ne

It's three o'clock in the morning. There's something different about three in the morning. The world gets quiet. The notifications stop. The conversations stop. The distractions disappear. And all that's left is you. Just you and your thoughts. Sometimes I think that's the most dangerous time of day. Not because something bad happens at three in the morning. But because you finally have enough silence to hear yourself think. Tonight, I'm sitting here trying to understand life

As I look into this next chapter of my life, I keep coming back to the same phrase: No Filler. The more I think about it, the more I realize this chapter isn't just about music. It isn't just about albums. It isn't just about projects. It's about life. It's about understanding that there is only so much energy, attention, focus, and drive that one person can have at a given time. And if you spread yourself too thin, you end up creating filler. You end up creating things that

I'm just sitting on the floor right now, thinking. Sometimes the best realizations don't happen when you're busy. They don't happen when you're rushing from one thing to the next or checking off tasks on a to-do list. Sometimes they happen when you're sitting in silence, exhausted, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out why you feel so overwhelmed. And I think I finally realized something about my life that makes a whole lot of sense. For most of my life, I've been stac

Wow. After I took the FE exam, I just never got back to doing one of these blog posts. Isn't that crazy? I guess I've been chilling, but honestly, not really chilling at the same time. I've been trying to process everything that happened. I've been trying to process the exam. I've been trying to process the possibility that I didn't pass. And maybe the weirdest part is that I spent so much time telling people that I planned to pass it. I spent so much time convincing myself t

Two days. That’s really where I’m at mentally right now. Two more days until the FE exam, and honestly, I’m nervous as hell. I’ve worked hard for this. I’ve sacrificed sleep for this. I’ve sacrificed peace for this. And now that the exam is almost here, reality is finally settling in. It’s no longer “someday.” It’s no longer “next month.” It’s here now. Right in front of me. And I think that’s what makes this feel so heavy. There’s a difference between preparing for something

After I finished my finals back in April, I finally started feeling like my brain could breathe again. It honestly felt like I had survived something. The pressure from classes, assignments, deadlines, projects, expectations, and constantly feeling like I had to prove myself all at once—it was exhausting. But once finals were over, I noticed something important: my mind became quieter. Not perfect. Not peaceful all the time. But quieter. More stable. I finally felt like I cou

Sometimes I really believe God is going to help me get everything done. I really do. But I also understand that faith without work means absolutely nothing. I can pray all day long, sit there and hope things magically fall into place, but if I don’t put in the work, none of this shit matters. None of it. And honestly? I hate that this is my life now. My body hurts. My brain hurts. My chest feels heavy all the time. I’m exhausted mentally, spiritually, physically. Fuck this sh

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how fast life moves when you’re not fully prepared for it. One moment you’re sitting there thinking you still have time, and the next moment you’re already deep into deadlines, exams, responsibilities, expectations, unfinished goals, and emotional exhaustion all at once. That’s honestly what this phase of my life feels like right now. I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up with myself while also trying not to fall apart mentally i

Here I am again—alone, thinking, trying to figure things out. Not really trying to build a support system right now, but more so trying to lock in on what actually matters. This summer isn’t just another stretch of time—it’s a checkpoint. Everything has to be put into perspective, because there are a few major things in front of me that will define where I go next. The most important thing, without question, is the comprehensive exam. This isn’t optional. This isn’t something