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Two days
Two days. That’s really where I’m at mentally right now. Two more days until the FE exam, and honestly, I’m nervous as hell. I’ve worked hard for this. I’ve sacrificed sleep for this. I’ve sacrificed peace for this. And now that the exam is almost here, reality is finally settling in. It’s no longer “someday.” It’s no longer “next month.” It’s here now. Right in front of me. And I think that’s what makes this feel so heavy. There’s a difference between preparing for something
trueproducer
May 144 min read


The pressure
After I finished my finals back in April, I finally started feeling like my brain could breathe again. It honestly felt like I had survived something. The pressure from classes, assignments, deadlines, projects, expectations, and constantly feeling like I had to prove myself all at once—it was exhausting. But once finals were over, I noticed something important: my mind became quieter. Not perfect. Not peaceful all the time. But quieter. More stable. I finally felt like I cou
trueproducer
May 107 min read
April Has to Take Shape
Tonight I’m sitting with one thought more than anything else: I need tomorrow to be different . My hope is that tomorrow is the day things finally begin to take form and take shape. Lately, it feels like I’ve been letting everything except the important things take control of my time, my attention, and my peace of mind. I keep moving, I keep doing things, I keep sending emails and making plans and thinking ahead, but when I stop and really look at it, I have to ask myself a h
trueproducer
Mar 294 min read
Why Was I Jealous?
This month is a crucial month for me. I can feel it. There are moments in life where you realize that the direction you're going in will determine a lot of what happens next, and I feel like I’m standing in one of those moments right now. I have a lot that I want to accomplish, especially with my music and the things I’ve been creating. But more than anything, this month is about discipline and learning how to move properly with the time and energy that I have. Recently I tal
trueproducer
Mar 125 min read


I Don’t Know How to Feel Okay Anymore
I don’t know. I’m just getting sadder and more depressed, and I can feel it happening in real time. Part of it is because I push people away—but in my mind, I do it for a good reason. I tell myself they were going to push me away first anyway. I’ve been rejected enough times to believe that before anything even starts, it’s already over. There was this one person I felt close to. We had a shared trauma bond, both struggling with our mental health in different ways. I thought
trueproducer
Feb 64 min read


2026: Discipline, Focus, and the Long Game
We’re officially in a new year— 2026 —and I won’t lie, it feels different. It feels heavy, but it also feels purposeful. After everything I went through last year, I made a vow to myself that this year would be the best year of my life , not because things will magically be easier, but because I’m finally willing to do the work without excuses. Last year taught me something humbling: I’m not special. And I don’t mean that in a depressing way—I mean it in a grounding way. Non
trueproducer
Jan 84 min read
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