“Still Breathing… Still Showing Up”

I didn’t even take the FE exam like I was supposed to.

And yeah… I was late to another meeting. Again. But that’s better than where I was earlier this year—because back then, I just didn’t show up. I forgot to go. This time, at least I made it, even if I was late. And thankfully, nothing bad happened because of it. But it stuck with me. It made me sit with the thought: Am I even responsible enough for all this?

That moment forced me to look in the mirror and admit something painful: I’ve been slipping. But slipping isn’t the end of the story. What matters now is how I respond.

I’m doing my best to prepare for this PhD program. It’s not easy, but this is the grind. This is the beginning of the real push. No more coasting. No more half-trying. I have to find mentors who can guide me. I need to advance my research and start my dissertation early. I’ve got to attend my classes and research meetings—on time. I have to show up as the person I claim I want to be.

And it’s not just school. I’m still working on my music. I’m still dropping singles and building my catalog. Even though I’m holding back from recording everything, the vault is full. I’ve got heat. I just need to release it intentionally.

I’m also pushing myself physically. Exercise every day. Rest when I need it. Eat better. Sleep better. Just… be better.

This chapter is about elevation. Growth. Being the version of me that doesn't self-sabotage. I hate networking, but I’m learning to build connections anyway. I’m learning to be uncomfortable, to take feedback, to face my fears.

I’m not perfect. But I’m still breathing. Still standing. And still showing up.