Questioning Love, Life, and Valentine’s Day

I’m getting older, and I keep reflecting on my life. One question that lingers in my mind is: Why does Valentine’s Day even exist? More than that, why does love exist if it’s supposedly something only God can do? I have this deep feeling that humans don’t truly have the capacity to love—myself included. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had any real connections in the past few years. It’s kind of sad, but at the same time, I’m not exactly searching for those connections either.

This thought led me to create a YouTube video where I talk more about this:▶️ Boosting My Ego on Valentine’s Day | February 2025

Beyond questioning love, I’m still navigating life after college. I have no job yet, and I’m currently studying for the Fundamentals of Engineering (FE) Exam. At the same time, I’ve been working on a book—but I haven’t been motivated to continue. I’ve also been reading Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game, and so far, it’s really good. But I need to keep reading to fully understand what’s going on.

Future Plans & Creative Inspiration

Part of me still wants to go back to school, so my updated plan is simple: pass the FE exam and then return to school to earn the highest degree an engineer can get. If I do go back, I want to graduate in December 2029, so I can start the next decade strong—or at least finish sometime in 2030 or 2031. I just want to enter the next decade fully focused, working, and pushing myself to do more.

When it comes to writing, Orson Scott Card is definitely an inspiration. But in music, I always go back to Childish Gambino, Skrillex, and Lizzo—artists who revolutionized the industry and pushed creative boundaries.

Next Steps

I’m making a promise to myself: by the time I release my next video next week, I will have finished my book. And maybe—just maybe—I’ll even have some songs recorded. But we’ll see.

I originally planned to post videos every fourth Friday of the month, but I decided to make one this Friday instead because this day feels unique. Maybe it’s just another February, maybe it’s just another year, but I figured this was worth sharing.

I’ll be back next month with another update. Until then—take care.