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April Has to Take Shape
Tonight I’m sitting with one thought more than anything else: I need tomorrow to be different . My hope is that tomorrow is the day things finally begin to take form and take shape. Lately, it feels like I’ve been letting everything except the important things take control of my time, my attention, and my peace of mind. I keep moving, I keep doing things, I keep sending emails and making plans and thinking ahead, but when I stop and really look at it, I have to ask myself a h
trueproducer
Mar 294 min read
Before Therapy: A Moment of Honesty
I’m about to go into my therapy session today, and I feel awful. At the same time, a strange kind of relief has come over me. It’s like a weight has finally been lifted, but the path that led me to that relief was messy. I made mistakes along the way. I damaged connections with people. I mishandled situations. I tried to be everywhere all at once, except in the one place I actually needed to be. That’s the pattern I’m starting to notice about myself lately. I move fast. I jug
trueproducer
Mar 65 min read


I Don’t Know How to Feel Okay Anymore
I don’t know. I’m just getting sadder and more depressed, and I can feel it happening in real time. Part of it is because I push people away—but in my mind, I do it for a good reason. I tell myself they were going to push me away first anyway. I’ve been rejected enough times to believe that before anything even starts, it’s already over. There was this one person I felt close to. We had a shared trauma bond, both struggling with our mental health in different ways. I thought
trueproducer
Feb 64 min read


✨ End-of-Year Reflections: Standing at the Edge of 2025 ✨
It’s literally the end of the year. Not the after-Christmas , fully shut-down, world-is-quiet part of the year — but close enough. Finals are done. The holidays have arrived. And I’m finally at a point where I can breathe for a moment, look around, and actually be realistic about where I am and what I need to do with my life. This year… This has been the worst year of my life. Not because everything fell apart — but because everything finally caught up to me. And now that I’m
trueproducer
Dec 7, 20254 min read
🖤 The Day After Thanksgiving: Sitting With the Mess I Made
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and instead of feeling full, warm, and peaceful, I’m sitting here realizing just how much of a mess I’ve made. Not just a literal mess — though that happened, and I’m not even getting into that — but an emotional, spiritual, and personal one. A mess that’s been building all year and finally hit me today. In the last few days, I’ve opened myself up more publicly than I ever have. I’ve told the entire world how I really feel about relationships,
trueproducer
Nov 28, 20254 min read
🎧 In the Trenches of a New Month: Music, Meaning & Moving Forward
It’s the start of a brand-new month, and while the world around me is still moving, I’m in the trenches. Deep. Emotionally, mentally, physically. But I’ve been here before—and every time I feel the weight, I remind myself: I have a plan . This blog is my honest check-in, and if you’re reading this, you’re getting the raw me. No filters. 💿 A Vision for My Music Career — Even in the Chaos I’ve made it clear in previous posts that one of my top goals is to get my music career o
trueproducer
Nov 16, 20256 min read


The Plan Is Set: Album Release, PhD Goals & FE Exam Focus | June 2025
This is a period of intentionality —a season where I have to be unapologetically focused and aggressive about hitting my goals. And right...
trueproducer
Jun 6, 20253 min read
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