Overexposure

I just feel so bad. I put myself in a bad state—and I know it.

It happens when I give too much of myself to people who don’t deserve it. People who come to me for help, take everything they need, and then run off with the benefits—while I’m still struggling.

For instance, I was on my computer the other day helping someone send off my thesis. They needed it. I sent it. But in the process, I ended up showing them parts of my work—parts I didn’t want to show them. It wasn’t just about a document. It was about exposing myself.

My anxiety shot up because I was doing something I didn’t want to do. And deep down, it’s because this world is competitive. I start thinking: what if they try to do what I do? What if they outdo me? That’s the reality of overexposure—it makes you feel like your identity is being picked apart and repackaged by someone else.

And here’s the thing—they’ve already shown they’re not a real friend. I tried to keep it friendly, tried to stay supportive, but friendships nowadays are filled with lies and selfishness. People are out for themselves.

I’m trying to boost my own ego while dealing with other people’s egos at the same time. But you can’t let anyone’s ego fuck up your own ego—because that’s how you end up drained, unstable, and lost.

I’m exhausted. Emotionally and mentally.

But I’m still trying.

I’m still trying.

I’m still trying… to be a better person.

Because this world doesn’t give you room to breathe—it’s all competition. And I’m hungry. I want to be the best. But the people around me? They just want to take, take, take. Never giving back.

So I’m letting go. That person, that situation—it’s a distant memory now. I’ve got to move on. Not for them. For me.

And at the end of the day, let me say this loud:

I’m the hardest-working individual on the planet.