🦃 I’m Tired, But I’m Still Trying: Thanksgiving Reflections & What Comes Next

🎥 Watch the Video:

Click below to hear everything straight from me. (If you're reading this from my blog, the video is embedded here.)

📹 Video Title: Tired… But I’m Still Trying | End of Year Reflections & Music/Future Update

👉 Watch on YouTube (https://youtu.be/ybufzfEZvD8)

🍂 Where I’m At Right Now

Honestly? I had to make this video because I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and under-acknowledged. I’m not where I want to be in life. Not yet. And even though the end of the year is supposed to be about celebration and gratitude, I’m still sorting through a lot of frustration and fatigue. Things from earlier this year are still affecting me — and in some ways, they’re building up.

But I’m trying. That’s why I recorded that video. I’m not giving up. I’m still hopeful. And I’m still excited about my future.

🎶 Music, Books, and Being Thankful Anyway

Here’s what’s keeping me going:

• A new album is on the way. I’m planning to release it either in late November or early December. I want to keep it short and intentional — 10 tracks, about 20 minutes — something people can sit with over the holidays and feel seen.

• I’ve got a book project coming. No, it’s not ready yet. I’ll be working on it during winter break, and even though I won’t finish it right away, the ideas are brewing. I'm excited to develop it further.

• And I’m grateful. I’m genuinely thankful for the grind, the people who’ve supported me, and the hard lessons this year taught me. Even if this was one of the worst years emotionally, I feel like it might end up becoming one of the most important.

💭 The Truth About People, Loneliness, and Growth

"Cutting people off? It didn’t help me like I thought it would."

That realization hit me hard. I thought pushing certain people away would protect me, but in truth, I need people. I feel better when I’m around others. Still… people can distract you too, especially when you’re working toward something that matters deeply.

It’s hard when people aren’t always there when you need them. But how can I expect them to show up for me when I haven’t always shown up for them? That’s the duality I’m sitting with right now.

So I remind myself: Just keep grinding. Just keep going. Don’t wait for the right people — just be the right person.

💔 Love, Sex, and the Need for Purpose

I’ve had to admit to myself that I’m not in a place to love anyone. Not right now. And not next year either. I can’t be in a relationship if I can’t offer love the way someone deserves it. I had a moment earlier this week where I got distracted, got in bed, and started feeling those sexual urges — and I realized how fleeting that is. That’s not my purpose. It’s a feeling, and it passes. What stays? My research. My work. My goals.

🎬 Hollywood, Success, and Self-Comparison

I briefly spoke in the video about Hollywood — and how toxic it can be. There’s a system in place where people feel like they have to compromise themselves just to get ahead. And I’m so thankful I don’t have to be part of that.

But even still… it’s hard not to compare. I see people blowing up. I see their numbers, their headlines, their accolades — and I wonder:

“Why am I not successful yet?”

The truth is… I might be on a different timeline. And that’s okay. What matters is that I don’t give up trying.

🧠 Looking Ahead: 2026 and Beyond

This year wasn’t it. It wasn’t the best year of my life — but it taught me everything I need to do better next year.

So here’s what I’m focusing on:

• Better day-to-day preparation. I failed at this year because I tried to “wing it” on the day-of. That can’t happen again.

• Finishing what I start. Music, the book, my research — everything needs to be intentional.

• Getting into a better position for my music and writing career. That starts with clarity, strategy, and follow-through.

• Exploring a new hobby. I need something more than just music and writing — maybe video game design? I’d need a better computer first, but the idea excites me.

• Deepening my research. It’s a lot of work, but it’s meaningful. And it will matter years from now.

🙏 Final Thoughts (and a Bit of Thanks)

I’m 27 now. About to be 28 next year. And though this year drained me, it also grew me.

So if you’re reading this: Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching my video. Thank you for listening.

I hope you’re thankful for something too — even if this year felt like a mess. The mess sometimes teaches us more than the magic ever could.

I’ll check in again next month with another update. Until then…

Happy Thanksgiving. 🍁Take care of yourself. And never stop trying.

💬 Let’s Talk

Leave a comment below or on the video. What are you thankful for this year? What did you learn the hard way? What are you excited for in 2026?

Let’s build this community. Even if we’re all lone wolves… we still need each other.