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When Trying Isn’t Enough: Learning to Let Go and Take Life Seriously
Let me take a step back for a second and really process what happened, because I think that’s the only way I can move forward properly. Late February was the turning point. That’s where things started to shift in a way that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I made a decision to reach out to someone that, deep down, I probably shouldn’t have reached out to. Not because they’re a bad person, but because of what that connection represented for me mentally. It wasn’t stable.
trueproducer
Mar 273 min read
Why Was I Jealous?
This month is a crucial month for me. I can feel it. There are moments in life where you realize that the direction you're going in will determine a lot of what happens next, and I feel like I’m standing in one of those moments right now. I have a lot that I want to accomplish, especially with my music and the things I’ve been creating. But more than anything, this month is about discipline and learning how to move properly with the time and energy that I have. Recently I tal
trueproducer
Mar 125 min read
Before Therapy: A Moment of Honesty
I’m about to go into my therapy session today, and I feel awful. At the same time, a strange kind of relief has come over me. It’s like a weight has finally been lifted, but the path that led me to that relief was messy. I made mistakes along the way. I damaged connections with people. I mishandled situations. I tried to be everywhere all at once, except in the one place I actually needed to be. That’s the pattern I’m starting to notice about myself lately. I move fast. I jug
trueproducer
Mar 65 min read
When You Don’t Feel Special: The Quiet War Between Doubt and Discipline
There’s a question that’s been sitting in my mind for a while now, and I didn’t fully confront it until yesterday: What do you do when you don’t feel special anymore? I wish I had a simple answer. I wish I could say there’s a formula, a checklist, a guaranteed solution. But the truth is—I don’t really know. What I do have is a thought. And that thought is dangerous, exhausting, and motivating all at the same time: If the world doesn’t think you’re special, why not prove that
trueproducer
Jan 234 min read


Midweek Reflections: Being Unproductive, Being Worried, and Wanting to Be Taken Seriously
It’s the middle of the week, and classes have just begun. Normally, this is the part of the semester where motivation should still be high—where routines are fresh and optimism hasn’t worn thin yet. But instead of feeling focused, I already feel behind. Unproductive. Uneasy. Worried about where my future is actually headed. I’m drinking too much coffee, trying to force energy that doesn’t feel natural. I know that’s a sign in itself. When I rely on caffeine to manufacture urg
trueproducer
Jan 143 min read


✨ End-of-Year Reflections: Standing at the Edge of 2025 ✨
It’s literally the end of the year. Not the after-Christmas , fully shut-down, world-is-quiet part of the year — but close enough. Finals are done. The holidays have arrived. And I’m finally at a point where I can breathe for a moment, look around, and actually be realistic about where I am and what I need to do with my life. This year… This has been the worst year of my life. Not because everything fell apart — but because everything finally caught up to me. And now that I’m
trueproducer
Dec 7, 20254 min read
🖤 The Day After Thanksgiving: Sitting With the Mess I Made
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and instead of feeling full, warm, and peaceful, I’m sitting here realizing just how much of a mess I’ve made. Not just a literal mess — though that happened, and I’m not even getting into that — but an emotional, spiritual, and personal one. A mess that’s been building all year and finally hit me today. In the last few days, I’ve opened myself up more publicly than I ever have. I’ve told the entire world how I really feel about relationships,
trueproducer
Nov 28, 20254 min read
Something Has to Change… But I Don’t Know What
I Wasn’t Going to Write Another Post… I really wasn’t going to write another post this month. I thought I’d wait until next month, give myself a break, catch my breath. But next month is literally just a day or two away—and I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit how bad things have been getting lately. Something in my life is not going right. I can feel it. But the worst part? I don’t know what needs to change. I just know something has to. The Day That Broke Me a Little L
trueproducer
Oct 30, 20254 min read


Trust, Birthdays, and the Weight of a Heavy Month
A lot of hell happened this month— and the month isn’t even over yet. I’ve been sitting with this question, circling in my mind like a...
trueproducer
Sep 24, 20252 min read


March Took Everything from Me | Blog Entry – March 2025
I finally got a job. That alone should’ve been a huge win for March—and in a way, it was. I even joined a Bible study group, and one of...
trueproducer
Mar 28, 20252 min read
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