Lately I've been thinking about what it feels like to live in survival mode. For me, survival mode isn't just about being busy. It's the feeling that there's always another hurdle to clear, another expectation to meet, another opportunity that has to be earned instead of assumed. As a Black man in America, I sometimes feel a heightened sense of pressure to prove myself. When I think about our history—slavery, segregation, discrimination, and the barriers that have existed for

As I look into this next chapter of my life, I keep coming back to the same phrase: No Filler. The more I think about it, the more I realize this chapter isn't just about music. It isn't just about albums. It isn't just about projects. It's about life. It's about understanding that there is only so much energy, attention, focus, and drive that one person can have at a given time. And if you spread yourself too thin, you end up creating filler. You end up creating things that

I'm just sitting on the floor right now, thinking. Sometimes the best realizations don't happen when you're busy. They don't happen when you're rushing from one thing to the next or checking off tasks on a to-do list. Sometimes they happen when you're sitting in silence, exhausted, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out why you feel so overwhelmed. And I think I finally realized something about my life that makes a whole lot of sense. For most of my life, I've been stac

I truly believe I’m in a much better position right now than I was back in March. And honestly, just being able to say that feels like progress. March was heavy. It was not just busy in the normal sense—it was mentally crowded, emotionally exhausting, and physically draining. A lot of that month was spent trying to recover from everything that happened in February, and instead of giving myself space to stabilize, March quickly became another month full of pressure, unfinished

Let me take a step back for a second and really process what happened, because I think that’s the only way I can move forward properly. Late February was the turning point. That’s where things started to shift in a way that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I made a decision to reach out to someone that, deep down, I probably shouldn’t have reached out to. Not because they’re a bad person, but because of what that connection represented for me mentally. It wasn’t stable.

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. I should be asleep. Instead, I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been sabotaging myself. Not because I’m lazy. Not because I don’t care. But because I have too much to do. And when there’s too much to do, something in me freezes. I stay up late worrying instead of sleeping. I plan instead of executing. I overthink instead of organizing. I haven’t even touched the FE exam the way I should. But it’s not even about “touching the FE exam.” It’s about

It’s crazy that it’s almost March. Midterms are either here or around the corner. The semester is moving whether I’m ready or not. Time doesn’t slow down just because I’m overwhelmed. It doesn’t pause because I feel unproductive. It doesn’t care if I spent Monday watching YouTube instead of pushing my research forward. And that’s the reality I have to sit with. I just ate a whole sandwich, and now I can’t sleep. Too much food, too late at night. It’s small, but it represents

Lately, I’ve been realizing something uncomfortable but necessary: I have too many goals. And having too many goals is not always a blessing—it can be a burden if you don’t know how to prioritize them. I’ve always been ambitious. I want to do research. I want to pass the FE exam. I want to release music. I want to write a book. I want to build a legacy. I want to graduate with a PhD. I want to be great. But greatness doesn’t come from having dreams. It comes from deciding wha

Introduction: The Weight I Carry This year hasn't been kind to me. But honestly, I don’t think I expected it to be. What I did expect, though, was to make a choice and follow through — to either pursue school or dive straight into the workforce. That was the plan: be decisive, intentional, and take charge of my life. But if life has taught me anything, it's that plans rarely go as expected — especially when you're tired. And this year, I’ve been tired in a way that runs deepe

Life is improving. I’m not saying everything’s perfect—but April has definitely been a step up from March. I feel more grounded, more...