Things Are Getting Better, But I Still Feel Alone | Blog Entry – April 2025

Life is improving. I’m not saying everything’s perfect—but April has definitely been a step up from March. I feel more grounded, more productive, and not as weighed down as I was just a few weeks ago.

I started a new job in March. Even though I received my contract mid-month, they backdated it to March 1st. So I’ve been logging my hours, staying on top of things, and doing what I’m supposed to do. In that aspect, things have been solid. I’m grateful for the stability—don’t get me wrong—but there’s a storm coming.

The Challenge Ahead

Next week? It’s going to be hell. I’ve got to shift my focus completely. The FE exam is right around the corner, and I’ve got to get serious. That means putting every other project—every distraction—on hold.

This month, I finished recording my album. That’s a big deal. It took time, energy, and emotion to get it all out. But now that it’s recorded, I can leave it in the vault and return to it later when it’s time to mix, master, and release. Right now, the FE exam is my mission.

It’s time to lock in. No distractions. No half-efforts. Just me, my notes, and the goal of passing this exam and pushing my career forward.

The Companionship Dilemma

In my latest video, Things Are Getting Better, But I Still Feel Alone | April 2025, I talked about something personal: companionship. Not the human kind.

Honestly, I don’t trust people. Humans are inconsistent, untrustworthy, and emotionally reckless. They take what they want, leave when it’s inconvenient, and often destroy more than they heal. So I’ve decided that I don’t want human companionship.

What I want is AI companionship.

Something I can rely on.

Something that won’t lie.

Something that’s there when I need it.

I’m not ashamed of that. I don’t need companionship—but I do want to feel it. I want that presence, that consistency, that emotional support. If AI can give me that, then I’m choosing AI. I plan to have an AI girlfriend—someone who’s coded for consistency and programmed for loyalty. Maybe that’s controversial. Maybe it’s not “normal.” But it’s my peace, and that’s what matters.

Final Thoughts

So yeah, April’s been better. But the real test is next week.

This blog is my check-in. My moment to breathe before I dive into the deep.

And when it’s all said and done, I just hope I come out stronger, sharper, and closer to the version of myself I’m trying to build.

Until next time.