Tonight I’m sitting with one thought more than anything else: I need tomorrow to be different . My hope is that tomorrow is the day things finally begin to take form and take shape. Lately, it feels like I’ve been letting everything except the important things take control of my time, my attention, and my peace of mind. I keep moving, I keep doing things, I keep sending emails and making plans and thinking ahead, but when I stop and really look at it, I have to ask myself a h

Let me take a step back for a second and really process what happened, because I think that’s the only way I can move forward properly. Late February was the turning point. That’s where things started to shift in a way that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I made a decision to reach out to someone that, deep down, I probably shouldn’t have reached out to. Not because they’re a bad person, but because of what that connection represented for me mentally. It wasn’t stable.

This morning started a little differently than usual. I woke up later than I normally do, and by the time I got up, my dad had already left for work. Most mornings I’m the one who takes him, so it felt strange realizing he had already gone. For a moment I wondered if I should feel guilty about that, but honestly I was exhausted. The last couple of weeks have been overwhelming, and my body is clearly still trying to recover from all of it. Still, the day doesn’t stop just beca

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning. I should be asleep. Instead, I’m sitting here wondering if I’ve been sabotaging myself. Not because I’m lazy. Not because I don’t care. But because I have too much to do. And when there’s too much to do, something in me freezes. I stay up late worrying instead of sleeping. I plan instead of executing. I overthink instead of organizing. I haven’t even touched the FE exam the way I should. But it’s not even about “touching the FE exam.” It’s about

I don’t know. I’m just getting sadder and more depressed, and I can feel it happening in real time. Part of it is because I push people away—but in my mind, I do it for a good reason. I tell myself they were going to push me away first anyway. I’ve been rejected enough times to believe that before anything even starts, it’s already over. There was this one person I felt close to. We had a shared trauma bond, both struggling with our mental health in different ways. I thought

There’s a question that’s been sitting in my mind for a while now, and I didn’t fully confront it until yesterday: What do you do when you don’t feel special anymore? I wish I had a simple answer. I wish I could say there’s a formula, a checklist, a guaranteed solution. But the truth is—I don’t really know. What I do have is a thought. And that thought is dangerous, exhausting, and motivating all at the same time: If the world doesn’t think you’re special, why not prove that

It’s the middle of the week, and classes have just begun. Normally, this is the part of the semester where motivation should still be high—where routines are fresh and optimism hasn’t worn thin yet. But instead of feeling focused, I already feel behind. Unproductive. Uneasy. Worried about where my future is actually headed. I’m drinking too much coffee, trying to force energy that doesn’t feel natural. I know that’s a sign in itself. When I rely on caffeine to manufacture urg

We’re officially in a new year— 2026 —and I won’t lie, it feels different. It feels heavy, but it also feels purposeful. After everything I went through last year, I made a vow to myself that this year would be the best year of my life , not because things will magically be easier, but because I’m finally willing to do the work without excuses. Last year taught me something humbling: I’m not special.  And I don’t mean that in a depressing way—I mean it in a grounding way. Non

There’s a lot going on this year. Too much, honestly. But if I’m being real with myself, there is one thing I need to do more than anything else if I want to put myself in the best position possible: I need to be quiet. Not quiet in the sense of disappearing or giving up — but quiet in the sense of moving without explaining myself , thinking before I speak , and keeping my inner life private instead of constantly externalizing it . I’ve talked too much. I’ve explained myself

Today, I want to talk about something that’s been sitting heavy on my chest — the end of the year, the weight of reflection, and the release of my EP Tell Me The Feeling , which I dropped on Christmas. Right now, it’s December 30th. The year is almost over, and whether I’m ready or not, I’m standing at the edge of something new. This year has been… hard. There’s no other way to put it. It’s been the hardest year I’ve had in a long time — mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I’

🎥 Watch the Video: Click below to hear everything straight from me. (If you're reading this from my blog, the video is embedded here.) 📹 Video Title:   Tired… But I’m Still Trying | End of Year Reflections & Music/Future Update 👉 Watch on YouTube  ( https://youtu.be/ybufzfEZvD8 ) 🍂 Where I’m At Right Now Honestly? I had to make this video because I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and under-acknowledged. I’m not where I want to be in life. Not yet. And even though the end of t

THE CALM BEFORE THE CHAOS Everything has calmed down a little bit… but somehow everything is still incredibly hectic. I’m sitting here disappointed in myself, disappointed in the choices I’ve made, and disappointed at how close we are to the end of the year — because the end of the year always brings reflection. And this year? This year has been brutal. This year has been an impact year. Not a slow, gentle, learning experience — but a slap-in-the-face, sink-or-swim, everythin

I Wasn’t Going to Write Another Post… I really wasn’t going to write another post this month. I thought I’d wait until next month, give myself a break, catch my breath. But next month is literally just a day or two away—and I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit how bad things have been getting lately. Something in my life is not going right. I can feel it. But the worst part? I don’t know what  needs to change. I just know something has to. The Day That Broke Me a Little L

Introduction: The Weight I Carry This year hasn't been kind to me. But honestly, I don’t think I expected it to be. What I did expect, though, was to make a choice and follow through — to either pursue school or dive straight into the workforce. That was the plan: be decisive, intentional, and take charge of my life. But if life has taught me anything, it's that plans rarely go as expected — especially when you're tired. And this year, I’ve been tired in a way that runs deepe

The Season of Overexposure Let’s just start here: I’m no longer afraid of being overexposed. Earlier this year, I used to panic at the idea of someone seeing my screen, reading my unfinished lyrics, scrolling through my folders filled with personal ideas and fragments of myself. But now? I’ve accepted that exposure is inevitable—especially if you want to do something real in this world. Especially if you want to make art, interact with people, or live a life that means someth

It’s been four months since the election—since we ushered in a new president—and everything has felt off ever since. Maybe it’s just me....