Blog Entry: Real Intentionality on Independence Day

Last month, I declared it would be a season of intentionality. I had every intention of releasing my album in June, but here we are. Truth is, I got lost in the noise—trying to add extra songs, overanalyzing lyrics, chasing perfection. But eventually I realized: I already had what I needed. Nine songs that tell the whole story. Every time I printed out new lyrics, I had to shred them. Not because they weren’t good, but because I needed to stay focused. That’s intentionality—knowing when to stop and trust your work.

Here’s the final track listing for the album Tired of Everything:

1. Lost My Stuff in the Street

2. I Ain’t No Rover

3. I Ain’t No Rover (Postlude)

4. Far Cry 27

5. Tired of Everything Part 2

6. Finesse on a Bitch

7. I Am Ashamed

8. I Am Ashamed (Postlude)

9. June 27, 3 AM

This month is different. I’ve already completed my MATLAB certificate, so that’s one thing checked off the list. What’s left is the FE exam and the album release, and now I’m locked in.

The Intentionality Plan

1. Music Completion – I planned out how I would finish the album, one song at a time. One session a day. No rushing. No distractions. Each week, I focus on the individual tracks—whether it’s vocal edits, beat corrections, or mastering. That’s how I reclaim control over my creativity.

2. FE Exam Preparation – During the time I’d normally dedicate to research, I’m shifting that time into intense FE exam study. My intern will handle the research responsibilities. That way, I can use that time to pour myself into FE exam prep. My method is structured: look at each problem, attempt to solve it, and if I can’t, study the solution. Then, I review the logic and apply it to similar problems until I can solve entire sets from memory. This approach isn’t just for passing—it’s for mastering the content.

3. Daily Exercise and Self-Discipline – I’m recommitting to my physical health, too. I have to get myself right mentally, physically, and spiritually before the PhD program begins. Taking care of my body is one way I stay grounded and clear-headed.

There won’t be a video about this. No long talk. Just action. Just work.

And then there’s this:

Being an African-American man with ambition in this world is not easy. I’ve felt invisible. Like I wasn’t special. Like people wanted to copy me, or compete with me, or take advantage of my vulnerability. Whether it was accidentally bumping someone’s car or exposing too much of my personal life to people who didn’t deserve that access—I’ve been through a lot.

But I’m still standing.

I’m still the hardest working individual on the planet.

And I’m not backing down.

---

I’m over here tryna get certificates

But bitch, ain’t nobody helping with this shit

I be fighting all of my demons alone

But they want me to step out my zone

Go ahead, shoot me with the gun—shoot me down

Right now I’m like, "Fuck everyone in this town"

Fuck the dude that needed my help, but dipped

Fuck them motherfuckers I ain't texting shit

Fuck them folks who won’t ever come through

I’ve been polite, but now I’m done being cool

Of all the words I speak outta my mouth—

Fuck them motherfuckers, I’m airing it out

All these chains and whips my master gave

He don’t give a fuck about how I behave

Uncle Sam said that I need some healing

So they sent me to talk about my feelings

The therapist just wasting all my cash

All they say is, “You throwing a pity party”

Guys get shook when I bump Cardi loud

Still careful, I ain’t tryna break down

You say you got no worries? Bitch, stop frontin’

Everyone got pain they don’t be stunnin’

"I got no worries, I got no worries"

But I got bills, pain, and no recovery

Got worries how I’m gon’ make this money

You won’t help, so I hustle ugly

That’s what I mean—niggas be spoiled

Always taking, never lifting my soil

You pulled up in that busted-ass car

Bass thumping, thinking you a star

But I won’t call back, I hung that up

So bitch, don’t hit me when life gets tough

I tried to cut everyone the fuck off

'Cause all y’all draining me non-stop

Everyone fucking with my peace

Trying to kill the best part of me

I had a hard life—harder than some

You think you tough? Bitch, you not the one

Niggas be spoiled, they want it all

I be broken, waiting for a call

Go back to your tired-ass place

I’m done being used—I need space

You think I’m good? Sit the hell down

I ain’t good, I’m just stuck in this town

I’m tryna process this pain and rage

I ain’t independent on this “free” day

I ain’t free no matter what they say

The master got chains on me anyway

He told me to kneel. And fucking pray.

“I Ain’t Free” — Excerpt & Reflection

“I’m tryna process this pain and rage / I ain’t independent on this ‘free’ day / I ain’t free no matter what they say / The master got chains on me anyway.” “Go ahead, shoot me with the gun—shoot me down / Right now I’m like, ‘Fuck everyone in this town’”

These lyrics are personal. They reflect the internal battle I’m facing—trying to become free while still being bound by society, expectation, and self-doubt. Independence Day doesn’t feel like mine, because I’m not fully independent. But writing these words, living with this truth—that is my form of freedom.