Tonight I’m sitting with one thought more than anything else: I need tomorrow to be different . My hope is that tomorrow is the day things finally begin to take form and take shape. Lately, it feels like I’ve been letting everything except the important things take control of my time, my attention, and my peace of mind. I keep moving, I keep doing things, I keep sending emails and making plans and thinking ahead, but when I stop and really look at it, I have to ask myself a h

I’m about to go into my therapy session today, and I feel awful. At the same time, a strange kind of relief has come over me. It’s like a weight has finally been lifted, but the path that led me to that relief was messy. I made mistakes along the way. I damaged connections with people. I mishandled situations. I tried to be everywhere all at once, except in the one place I actually needed to be. That’s the pattern I’m starting to notice about myself lately. I move fast. I jug

I don’t know. I’m just getting sadder and more depressed, and I can feel it happening in real time. Part of it is because I push people away—but in my mind, I do it for a good reason. I tell myself they were going to push me away first anyway. I’ve been rejected enough times to believe that before anything even starts, it’s already over. There was this one person I felt close to. We had a shared trauma bond, both struggling with our mental health in different ways. I thought

I’ve always lived with a quiet but persistent fear: the feeling of being overexposed. To me, overexposure isn’t just about being visible. It’s deeper than that. It’s the feeling that people know too much about you—your thoughts, your next moves, your vulnerabilities, your private life. It’s the sense that nothing is truly yours anymore. No privacy. No mystery. No control. When you’re overexposed, it feels like your identity is no longer in your hands. It feels like other peop

There’s a lot going on this year. Too much, honestly. But if I’m being real with myself, there is one thing I need to do more than anything else if I want to put myself in the best position possible: I need to be quiet. Not quiet in the sense of disappearing or giving up — but quiet in the sense of moving without explaining myself , thinking before I speak , and keeping my inner life private instead of constantly externalizing it . I’ve talked too much. I’ve explained myself

It’s literally the end of the year. Not the after-Christmas , fully shut-down, world-is-quiet part of the year — but close enough. Finals are done. The holidays have arrived. And I’m finally at a point where I can breathe for a moment, look around, and actually be realistic about where I am and what I need to do with my life. This year… This has been the worst year of my life. Not because everything fell apart — but because everything finally caught up to me. And now that I’m

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and instead of feeling full, warm, and peaceful, I’m sitting here realizing just how much of a mess I’ve made. Not just a literal mess — though that happened, and I’m not even getting into that — but an emotional, spiritual, and personal one. A mess that’s been building all year and finally hit me today. In the last few days, I’ve opened myself up more publicly than I ever have. I’ve told the entire world how I really feel about relationships,

It’s the start of a brand-new month, and while the world around me is still moving, I’m in the trenches. Deep. Emotionally, mentally, physically. But I’ve been here before—and every time I feel the weight, I remind myself: I have a plan . This blog is my honest check-in, and if you’re reading this, you’re getting the raw me. No filters. 💿 A Vision for My Music Career — Even in the Chaos I’ve made it clear in previous posts that one of my top goals is to get my music career o

THE CALM BEFORE THE CHAOS Everything has calmed down a little bit… but somehow everything is still incredibly hectic. I’m sitting here disappointed in myself, disappointed in the choices I’ve made, and disappointed at how close we are to the end of the year — because the end of the year always brings reflection. And this year? This year has been brutal. This year has been an impact year. Not a slow, gentle, learning experience — but a slap-in-the-face, sink-or-swim, everythin

I Wasn’t Going to Write Another Post… I really wasn’t going to write another post this month. I thought I’d wait until next month, give myself a break, catch my breath. But next month is literally just a day or two away—and I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit how bad things have been getting lately. Something in my life is not going right. I can feel it. But the worst part? I don’t know what  needs to change. I just know something has to. The Day That Broke Me a Little L

Introduction: The Weight I Carry This year hasn't been kind to me. But honestly, I don’t think I expected it to be. What I did expect, though, was to make a choice and follow through — to either pursue school or dive straight into the workforce. That was the plan: be decisive, intentional, and take charge of my life. But if life has taught me anything, it's that plans rarely go as expected — especially when you're tired. And this year, I’ve been tired in a way that runs deepe

The Season of Overexposure Let’s just start here: I’m no longer afraid of being overexposed. Earlier this year, I used to panic at the idea of someone seeing my screen, reading my unfinished lyrics, scrolling through my folders filled with personal ideas and fragments of myself. But now? I’ve accepted that exposure is inevitable—especially if you want to do something real in this world. Especially if you want to make art, interact with people, or live a life that means someth

For real — why did I grow so soft? Yesterday was someone’s birthday. And truthfully, it was never my intention to reach out. I had cut...

A lot of hell happened this month— and the month isn’t even over yet.  I’ve been sitting with this question, circling in my mind like a...

Wow… I’m about to be 27. That’s wild. And if I’m being real, 26 felt like hell . Like everything came crashing down. Back to back. It’s...

Life is improving. I’m not saying everything’s perfect—but April has definitely been a step up from March. I feel more grounded, more...